It’s a recruitment ad for an organization even more illustrious than my school. Wanna guess what it is? (Hint: it now comes with a video game called “America’s Army”)

Decide the way you want to serve. The training you want. And the direction you want to go.

The stylistic innovations you see in the prose were designed by state of the art ad-generating computers that can’t write sentences with more than 10 words.

You will learn self-reliance. Discipline. You will be ready for challenges that come your way. And to face them with confidence.

One thing. You will not. Actually. Learn is how to. Write. That’s why they have to subsidize your education if you happen to survive your tour. Better off joining the Mounties.