I’m learning to speak German from a podcast. This is almost as effective as my learning breakdancing from youtube videos. A real conversation I had in dinner today:

Me: Guten Abend! Mein nAme Ist Jue! (a characteristic feature of German is the random capitalization.)

Girl: <something unintelligible in German. She must be speaking the country dialect.>

Me: Haben Zie etwas zu Verzollen? (this means: “Do you have anything to declare?” I’m a really fast learner, and I’m already on “Lesson Three: At the Airport.” )

Girl: <some more gibberish.>

Me: Uh…Ja!

Girl: I asked you what your last sentence means.

Me: Ja!

Girl: You don’t really speak German do you?

Me: Ja I do! Mein Name ist Jue!

Girl: I’m going to get my grilled cheese.

The moral of the story — one day I’m going to be a customs officer with an AMAZING ability to lie down on the ground and flail my legs. Gute Nacht everyone.