Hutu Ninjas versus Tutsi Pirates

Are you a tall, pale-skinned colonial subject or a short, dark-skinned colonial subject? Are you a member of the landowning, eye-patch wearing elite or do you prefer to tend the land and throw star-shaped knives at your oppressors in their sleep? Neither? It doesn’t matter! Choose your side! Collect humanitarian aid packages to win. Burn down Don Cheadle’s house for bonus points. Only available on Belgian Facebook. (Brought to you by the creators of the hit Facebook apps “Refugee Zombies!” and “Cities I’d Like to Jihad”.)

Top Friends’ Moms

What do your friends think of your mom? Is she a MILF or a MILM? Always wanted to rank the maternal figures in your life in order of sex appeal, baking ability, etc?

Personality Defect Quiz

Discover the real you, underneath all those layers of confidence and self-respect: what do others think of you behind your back? Find out if you’re an ESTJ (Egotistical, Slothful, Testy Jackass) or an INFP (Inept, Necrophilic, Fidgety Pederast). If you’re already prone to negative thoughts, this quiz will help you harness that feeling of self-defeat and turn your life around 360 degrees.

William Faulkner Insult Generator

Unfetter your disdain from the shackles of punctuation, grammar, and proper use of English! Your meagre and fragile threads of friends, with their meddling interference and disapprobation in a shadowy attenuation of time possessing cowardly proportions, impervious to time and inexplicable (possibly you do not love them; how could you?), reflected in one anonymous climaxless epicene, that stultification of the burgeoning and incorrigible–yes those friends–will be SOOOO jealous of your newfound postmodernist pseudo-eloquence!

Also see “Book Ideas That Didn’t Make the Cut” and “Pokemon.”